More Mail for My Dearly Departed Dog

Apparently my dog Pete — gone from us now for over a year — had a life I knew nothing about. My first clue about his secret life was a letter from Strayer University mentioning that he’d earned a bachelor’s degree at some point in his past. Now Pete has received another letter, this one from Miller Chrysler Dodge Jeep of Springfield, Pennsylvania. As the executor of his estate, I had no choice but to open it.

Apparently, Miller Chrysler Dodge Jeep has been presented with the rare opportunity of making record sales this year, and they want Pete’s help to make it happen. Here’s a line directly from the letter:

So Pete, it turns out, not only earned a bachelor’s degree, but he was also a preferred customer at Miller Chryseler Dodge Jeep. At the very least, this explains the Dodge Charger that’s been moldering by the curb in front of my house for the past two years.* But it raises a series of significant issues, not the least of which is how Pete managed to get the line of credit he needed to procure the car.

My best guess at this point is that someone at Miller Chrysler Dodge Jeep somehow saw the following picture I painted and figured that there was no way such a classy dog could pose any kind of credit risk.

"Lord of the Manor" (painting by Marc Schuster)

The sad thing about all of this is that the letter also included a scratch-and-win game — and Pete loved scratching things! According to the letter, if Pete played the game, he had a chance of winning one of the following prizes: a 2011 Dodge Caliber, a three day/two night vacation, $10,000 cash, or five golden coins.** Even though Pete never got a chance to scratch the silver dot, he’ll always be a winner in my book.

* Note to my neighbors: Sorry for giving you the evil eye while pointing out said Dodge Charger. I thought it was your car!

** This last prize had me mystified until my friend, colleague, and fellow blogger Monica D’Antonio pointed out that 95 more gold coins would have earned Pete an extra life a la Super Mario Brothers. If only he’d gotten the letter sooner!

8 thoughts on “More Mail for My Dearly Departed Dog

  1. Oh, I’m sorry about Pete, but I think he is very happy now in dog heaven driving all kinds of fun vehicles, including a Catmobile. One time, I received a credit card pre approve offer with my nickname which I never use for real stuff and only my close friends and relatives know. Sometimes, I wonder …

  2. Pete was obviously brilliant, secretive and naturally classy, as the picture reveals. I can’t wait to see who he receives mail from next!

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